Have you met Lexi?

Darling reader, I could give you a long explanation of how my life is far too busy and orgasmically* wonderful for me to blog, but that would be a lie. I’ve been less busy and possibly less orgasmic than your average senior citizen, and this blog has once again come to the edge of death because I suck at life.

But! I have made a new resolution! Call it a Nearly End Of Winter resolution or a Post-Bronchitis resolution, but I’ve made one and here it is: just because I suck at life doesn’t mean I have to suck at blogging. Most people whose blogs I enjoy suck at life anyway (except for you, because if you do blog I’m sure you’re amazing and I marvel at your ability to keep your orgasmically busy life at bay long enough to document it.)

So what do the pro-active, successful bloggers of the world blog about? I don’t know, but I have a cat** so… here’s a picture of my cat! 

Her name is Lexi and she's adorable. And whenever I run out of ideas I’m going to post pictures of her*** so this blog will never almost-die again! Look at me, with my flawless plan. It’s almost as if I don’t suck at life.

What are you doing in that shoebox, Lexi? You’re not a shoe, you’re a cat!

Of course, I’ll talk about other stuff too. Because there’s thin YET INCREDIBLY DISTINCT line between me and this girl:



And that line is that she’s trolling, and my devotion to cats (at least, my cat) is disturbingly genuine.

*Spellcheck assures me that I mean ‘orgasmic ally’ here. I think I’ve just found the name of my superhero sidekick. Climax would be the main superhero of course. And aren’t sidekicks supposed to have more cumbersome and less impressive names which tie in thematically to the main hero? There you go.

**a common symptom of sucking at life

***because she’s fluffy