Friday, July 16

It was a dark and stormy writing class...

I had my first Creative Writing seminar yesterday, and the upside is that it wasn't as soul-shatteringly terrifying as I was afraid it would be. The downside is that apparently, I'm not the only person in the class who can string a coherent sentence together (damn it!) so I'll have to work a bit harder if I'm looking for standing ovations.

We did a couple of in-class exercises including one where we had to write really horribly (to get over the fear of writing badly, which is a huge block for amateur writers.) This is what I came up with:

It was a dark and stormy night when Clarissa, a stunningly beautiful young lady, fell off her loyal steed while riding to the next village to get more leeches for her ailing mother. As Clarissa toppled off her shining black steed, her ruby red hair cascaded from her headscarf and gleamed in the lightning-light. Her emerald green ballgown shimmered with mud as she splashed to the ground. Her usually loyal steed was spooked by the storm and disappeared into the tempest, leaving Clarissa in a dark, despairing ditch of despair. Her ankle twisted, Clarissa's gorgeous honey-coloured eyes widened in pain and dismay. It was then that, in the dark distance, she saw a tall, striking figure coming towards her ominously. As he approached, Clarissa's soft strawberry-pink lips parted in awe. It was an Adonis-like, totally hot guy with broad shoulders, a strong angular face, and a black cowboy hat...


Every time I read this it gets worse. I'm quite happy with it! The funny thing is that it really does reflect the problems I have when I write: I tend to repeat myself and use too many flowery, opulent, magnificently diverse adjectives.

I'm looking forward to carrying on with the course. I hope the "workshopping" part won't be too heartbreaking. At least, this way, I have to write and I can't flake out on it. So there won't be any "I'd love to write a book, but unfortunately I don't have a pen" business. Yeah, that's from Little Britain. The catchphrases are slowly working their way into my subconscious. It's a right kerfuffle.

Sunday, July 4

I am easily amused.

Two songs that have been on a constant loop in my brain:

Gay Boyfriend! I want one:


Sorry the video's low res, but hey, one hit wonder + home made vid = not a lot of people on youtube caring.

And Lily Allen's Alfie, a classic:

This is just the song with a still - the official music vid has the "clean" lyrics, and this song without the words 'weed' and 'twat' loses all its meaning. Yes, I am easily amused.