Tuesday, July 24

The One Where John Finnemore Won't Lick My Autograph

Sorry for the break in posting, the blobfish ate my brain.

So guys, my awesome friend Ali - whose blog is kinda superior to mine seeing as she has adventures and posts pictures and says clever things, whereas I just watch tv and then BLOG ABOUT MY FEELINGS  - just happened to inspire my incredible envy last weekend* by going to a recording of John Finnemore's Souvenir Programme.

Just in case you're not quite sure who John Finnemore is, LET ME TELL YOU. He is a comedian, writer and actor, who is hilarious and charming and intelligent and silly and sarcastic and wonderful. 

For the record, I introduced Ali to John Finnemore, which is the only way I could repay her for introducing me to Benedict Cumberbatch. Well, obviously not LITERALLY introduced. But you know, in that weird we-live-in-the-future way that makes you feel like you know celebrities by being constantly exposed to their work, so that you get so familiar with the concept of that person that you find yourself casually typing "Where EXACTLY does Benedict Cumberbatch live?" into google and not even feeling bad about it**. 

I'd wanted to ask Ali to get me an autograph since I heard she'd got tickets to the show, but obviously I have all this awkwardness and self-loathing so I didn't say anything because I didn't want to inconvenience her or be disappointed or be a person who exists or whatever. PAIN IS REAL. Luckily alcohol came to the rescue, and after a Long Island ice tea roughly the size of my arm, Ali updated facebook saying she was off to the show, and I promptly commented: 

I'm thankful to Ali for not only coming through, but actually risking a restraining order to get me a one-of-a-kind autograph! Starting what I hope will be a long and noble tradition of making celebrities uncomfortable, Ali promptly got a normal autograph for herself and a GLORIOUSLY INAPPROPRIATE ONE FOR ME: 

To Dasia
All the best
No, of course I won't lick it!
But still, all the best.
John Finnemore


Doesn't he have lovely handwriting? He's the complete package.I've never been an autograph person but I really see the appeal of it now. Maybe I'll start collecting written  refusals to silly / inappropriate requests and could eventually build a gallery out of it: "The Hall Of Celebrity No, Of Course I Won'ts!" or something similarly cheesy and awesome.

Anyway, I really love that this actually happened because I'd gone out the night I found out about all this, and woke up on Sunday morning thoroughly believing that the autograph was just an awesome booze dream. So yay for good things that aren't booze dreams! Ali's posting me the original, and I'm more nervous about this autograph being in the post than any certificate or degree I've ever gotten. 

Which is normal and healthy, right?*** 

*It was actually the weekend before last  - it took me a surprisingly long time to finish this post.
**I felt a little bad about it.
*** They don't make rehab for fangirls, apparently.

Wednesday, July 4

An Open Letter to my Brain

Dear Brain,

You are usually my favourite part of me. You are silly and sometimes can figure stuff out when there are no numbers involved in that stuff. You got me through university and even got me a job that doesn't involve working on docks or lugging coal. You almost always remember to get me fully clothed before I leave the house (yesterday was an exception, but at least I  was wearing cute slippers). You have an over-friendly relationship with Mouth, but we're working on that with our new friend, Social Filter.

So here's the thing, and this isn't a criticism but... sometimes you get distracted. Today we were supposed to be doing research for a graphic design article, and next thing I know you're cerebellum-deep in an article about blobfish. 

An irrelevant blobfish.

Blobfish are not very well designed, graphically speaking. In fact, I'm not really sure how you got from the effects of the colour red in web design to wondering what's new in the world of blobfish. 

Maybe it's my own fault. I've enabled you. I've given you too much brain candy and now I'm moaning about you being hyperactive. 

There was about an hour between that last line and this one, where you followed every link in the 'too much brain candy' phrase and got lost in the big, shiny internet. That's exactly what I'm talking about! 

Now, I'm not saying you should change. I think the fact that you find everything interesting is a credit to your brainfulness. All I'm saying is that maybe there's something to be gained from concentrating on a topic for more than two minutes. Maybe all that wildly fascinating stuff that's calling your name now will still be there in an hou[NOTE FROM THE EDITOR: Brain is unable to finish this post because scientists have found the Higgs Boson thingy and everyone is excited. Brain isn't entirely sure what it is, but Brain knows that Higgs Boson is a big deal because it's been mentioned on Big Bang Theory. Now Brain needs to watch lots of youtube videos and read lots of twitter opinions because the Higgs Boson is now officially Brain's favourite boson.]

In other news, Body wants to dance around.