Monday, February 8

Spending money is good for your liver

Spending money makes me happy. So does tequila.

Being the health enthusiast I am [insert incredulous snort here] I decided to spare my liver, and just spent R300 on An Incomplete Education, which is a very, very big book with many little factoids on just about every interesting non-fiction subject ever. Besides, It's okay that I spent money, because I'm making money. I made R6 (hell yeah, you read right, SIX Rand!) from people clicking on my blog's ads yesterday. So don't be shy about clicking on them, because not only does the act induce orgasmic pleasure on its own (!) it also funds my addiction to awesome books!

So, the book looks way awesome. I plan to keep it in my handbag at cocktail parties and consult it for clever things to say. Actually, at 700 pages, I might need to keep it in my wheelbarrow. But that's okay, because I have a decorative wheelbarrow especially for cocktail parties.

Expect a review when my New Favourite Book arrives in about three weeks. Actually, you're better off expecting a review once I finish reading it. Ten years and three weeks, then.

That's the trouble with online retail therapy. The rush of clicking through your (mom's) credit card payment for something incomprehensibly awesome is quickly replaced by the stark sensation of empty-handedness.

... And that's when we head to TEQUILA!

3 comments:

  1. lol. R6 is cool. It's more than R0!

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  2. But all the ads are telling me that I need to lose weight and/or check into rehab! And I don't want to do those things!

    I want a decorative wheelbarrow! Although I do already have The Massive Handbag of Massiveness that makes me look like a shoplifter at Pick 'n Pay when I refuse a plastic bag and happily pack a week's groceries into my handbag.

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  3. "But all the ads are telling me that I need to lose weight and/or check into rehab! And I don't want to do those things!"

    Haha, really? 'Cause mine are telling me to meet Gay Black Hunks. Amazing...it's like they can see into our souls.

    Besides, you don't have to buy anything, just [click] "Oh by rehab I thought you meant candy, oh well..." [close page]

    Works every time!

    ReplyDelete

... So how does that make you feel? Comment here!