Just look at it. Seriously. WATCH IT RIGHT NOW.
Seriously, wasn't that just the best four minutes ever?
It's got everything you could possibly want in a music video. And in life:
- Sassy half-English rap
- Some sort of post-apocalyptic universe where music is apparently considered evil (so it's sort of like that town from Footloose, I guess?)
- A disproportionate amount of eyeliner for a video starring zero women
- One man's hair going from red to white to yellow to pink in the space of four minutes
- Another man whose hair is as blue as the sky and as wavy as the ocean
- Lip applique (again, no women star in this video)
- A point (1:32) where I ALWAYS laugh out loud where a topless blonde man earnestly sings as he is chained to a wall (supposedly by the oppressive anti-music regime [or as they like to call themselves, the pro-talk-radio movement])
- Outfits, sets and CROWNS so fabulously elaborate they must have been a designer's dream / nightmare
- Pretty Korean boys
- More pretty Korean boys
- I mean, seriously, no amount of plastic surgery or photoshop will EVER make you as pretty as these Korean boys*
So I did a little research and the sassy rapper (the one in the beginning) is called G-Dragon and is kind of a big deal. I watched a few of his other videos and his sass is as boundless as his willingness to look silly. I heartily endorse him.
The other ridiculously pretty one (Mister Blue Hair) is called T.O.P, and I sincerely hope he was aware of how that sounds in English-speaking queer culture, and named himself that totally on purpose**. Because otherwise that'd be pretty embarrassing. But anyway, I checked and he isn't genetically engineered. ALLEGEDLY.***
Hey wait, what if the music-haters in the video are actually a metaphor for North Korea? I watched a documentary that said every house in NK is fitted with a propaganda radio speaker thingy that can never be turned off! So... guys, Fantastic Baby is totally a veiled critique of totalitarianism. And talk radio.
Hey, let's watch it again!
BOOM SHAKA LAKA.
*By 'you' I mean 'me'
*** I googled "T.O.P. Korean rapper genetically engineered" and my computer froze and then google showed me a bunch of stuff about PSY and genetically modified crops. So let's just say there's no proof that he's NOT genetically engineered.